TIM PAINE switched from Aussie wicketkeeper to “turd man” in last summer’s Fourth Ashes Test thriller.
The Australian skipper, 35, revealed he soiled himself at Old Trafford as his side mopped up England’s tail and secured the urn.
It certainly gave a whole new meaning to ‘Paine in the a**e’ as his side eventually won by 185 runs.
Paine said: “I was feeling a little bit ill and there were some big, dark clouds rolling in over the grandstand and we only had about seven overs left and obviously needed that one wicket.
“There was no drinks break left, and the umpires were starting to talk to each other about bad light.
“I just had a horrible feeling that I needed to go to the toilet… it was a No 2 and so I basically just thought, ‘righto, can’t waste any time, I’m gonna have to go’.
“I remember saying to Davie Warner, ‘I’m actually going to have to do this,’ and did.”
It came at a real squeaky bum time in the series as the Aussies were on the verge of retaining the urn.
The England lower order were battling to hold on for a draw.
And Paine added: “Unfortunately, it was one of those moments where the crowd went quite quiet. Because I was a bit unwell, it was a bit runny and you could actually hear it hit the ground.
“That ball was bowled I think by Mitch Starc to Craig Overton. Luckily he didn’t edge it because myself and David Warner literally had tears in our eyes, we could not stop laughing.
“A number of the boys know about it, I think probably all, now.”
England lost that Test to trail 2-1 but levelled the series at The Oval a week later.
Ex-Victorian wicketkeeper Darren Berry further quizzed the Tasmanian on the Keep it Real podcast.
He asked: “So you’re telling me, the Australian captain — and no one knows this — was squatting down behind the stumps, The Ashes about to be secured and soiled himself?”
Paine replied: “Yep. A number of the boys do know about it. Certainly, the slips cordon were aware of it.
“Obviously, you’d normally run off but, I’m not kidding, there were rain clouds everywhere, it was six or seven overs left, we were down on overs.
“I just thought the umpires are going to call the game off here and we’re going to get stitched-up, so I couldn’t be running off the ground.”
Berry had heard rumours The Ashes had become The Splashes for Paine.
But Paine replied: “Chuck, if I tell you the honest truth, the p**s was about six overs before that!”
