GET ready for a Caledonian cavalry charge.
We are not talking about a stampede to the boozer before one of Matt Hancock’s early closing curfews.
This is the Ayr Gold Cup and it’s harder to crack than the Enigma code.
Mind you, William Hill report good money for the jolly Mr Lupton.
Richard Fahey’s flyer made Joe Wicks look like a coach potato when dotting up in Ireland last weekend.
He bounced out of that better than Zebedee and is an each-way bet to nothing.
And don’t forget Hills are going six places in the big race.
Biggest surprise of the weekend is that mighty Mark Johnston isn’t represented in the Gold Cup.
But Braveheart’s fan club certainly picked a pocket or two when Mister Allegro (14-1 to 17-2) landed a touch at Kempton Park on Tuesday.
Funnily enough ‘picking pockets’ has been the salvation of this fella.
You see, he has improved a stone since being gelded.
Anyway, Brazilian bullet Silvestre De Sousa says the horse will win again so stick him in your tracker.
Meanwhile, SDS misses Ayr and schleps down to Newbury this afternoon.
And the word is our former champ is expecting to collect on Sir Michael Stoute’s Aerion Power in the opener.
Mr Magoo spotted this one running a cracker on his debut and the Newmarket gallop watchers will be pleading poverty if he gets turned over.
There is no chance of Sir Alex Ferguson rattling a begging bowl.
But the great man must have been distraught after his well-backed Florence Street dropped anchor in an all-weather maiden.
Jockey Oisin Murphy looked baffled by the run. Then again, he probably had a result.
If the owner had turned-up he might have copped the `hairdryer’ treatment.
Fingers crossed, a few lucky punters will be able to attend meetings at Warwick and Newmarket next week.
But getting into a racecourse is still almost Mission Impossible.
And that reminds me of a colourful character called Johnny The Slip. Now Johnny had an aversion to opening his wallet.
As a result, he developed several dubious schemes to swerve the turnstiles.
The most successful was a simple routine known as `the bucket’. Our man would wait in his motor with a plastic bucket in hand.
When a horsebox unloaded, he jumped out and followed the runner into the racecourse stables chatting away as if he was one of the stable-lads. It worked like a charm for years.
Mind you, Johnny did end up buying enough buckets to start a coast-to-coast window cleaning company.
Finally, if you want a jumper to follow try Suzy Smith’s Animal.
This fella raised a few eyebrows when he bolted-up in a bumper last spring. And it wasn’t long before a `telephone number’ offer arrived from one of jumping’s biggest owners.
But the man with the money wanted to move the horse to Nicky Henderson.
Suzy couldn’t wave adios to the apple of her eye so vetoed the sale.
As a result, she’s got an angry accountant and classy hurdler on her books.